The Auditor General recently drew attention to an embarrassing fact¹ – namely that the whole Paldiski LNG terminal venture was based on the belief that a Finnish ship was always ready to dock – nothing could ever happen to it and a war in the Gulf of Finland was a consider an absurd fantasy.

By the time someone came along to point out one small but very important aspect – namely that we should also have the capacity to accommodate other vessels – 60 million euros had already been spent.

Once again, in an already tight budgetary crisis, taxpayers’ money has found a cost-effective and targeted oriented use, which will probably be celebrated accordingly at Pikk Street (the location of the Russian embassy in Tallinn) in one of the Old Town’s shady rooms where one might heat the joyful sound of “за хозяев” (in English: cheers!) after another bottle of champagne Sovetskoye Shampanskoye is uncorked.

It remains a mystery why scientists and experts have not been involved in the planning of infrastructure projects of such importance for civil defence, or if they were, what happened – why were they not listened to?

Is it a matter of fundamental ignorance, the actions of a few useful idiots, or is it the thin state syndrome kicking in – there is simply no one who can see the problems that need to be prevented? As we know, prevention is cheaper than dealing with the consequences, and the Paldiski case is further costly proof of this.

Is anyone responsible for this mess?

Probably not. Imagine, though, if such a joke were to be made in the field of defence, where one day it is decided that it is necessary to create a tank battalion to strengthen Estonia’s defence.

So the specialists start to implement the plan, and they do so with such enthusiasm that the tank battalion becomes a tank brigade consisting instead of tanks with tank mock-ups meant to deceive the enemy’s air force. What a sight to admire endless line of “tanks” with a bargain price as the factory even gave a good discount.

The only problem is a small yet important nuance – neither do they move, nor shoot, although mobility could be achieved by conscripts. Theoretically the mock-ups could even be successfully deployed (it seems to work at least in Ukraine to some extent²) and the real tanks could eventually be ordered too, but to put it mildly, there is nothing to be done with an LNG terminal that is incompatible with local requirements.

The tank fiasco as an extraordinary scandal of the decade would perhaps result even with a public disgrace and may lead the “heroes” towards the unemployment fund.

However, in the world of Estonian civil defence, on the other hand, this is not to be expected – it is an almost anonymous area where responsibility just fades.

Act before you think?

Before we start chasing that unfortunate 0,5% permanent funding for civil defence from an already stressed national budget, the existing system needs an overhaul. The issue is not in insufficient funds, rather it seems that bad decisions are the source of problem.

However, dealing with planning errors after the bill has been paid takes us straight into the world of Kreutzwald’s Simpletons (persons who lacki common sense). By the way, did you know that there is a Simpleton themed village in Järva County?

Its magnificent main building is the château de Simpleton, a true experience centre, offering a variety of services to all visitors throughout the year. A branch of this could be opened in the capital city of Tallinn, for example in the organisations responsible for this cluster failure.

For those who want to argue, try to find a few differences between our civil defence planning and the way the Simpletons live.

One thing is for sure, at least the audits of the National Audit Office guarantee lasting experiences for all readers all year round. In addition, the audits make us think about the future and, unfortunately, the idea of building a nuclear power station raises the question: is this a joke?

Maybe we should try to get to grips with gas before we tame the atom.